A friendly and helpful community would be a squad , preferably in your prime time flying time zone and one that accepts new recruits (which is practically most of them). A squad will help you with config and stick settings, get you're TeamSpeak comms set up, and hopefully teach you some skills that will help you survive and improve.
There are IL-2 squads in many countries and many fly in multiple games (IL-2, CoD, ROF, etc), so you have options. Check hyperlobby for IL-2 1946 and try out a few servers. There are many versions of the game running from 4.09~4.12.1. HSFX and UltraPack are the two most common mods you will encounter and there are different versions of those running as well.
If you don't like flying in a squad community, then I suggest hanging out on a server that is popular - Warbirds of Prey server is one such and Battlefields is another. There is a lot of options.
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