I'd like to tell this joke but I find it harsh on the Irish, so I tell it about the Scotts! - feel free to interchange your own racial bigotry
Englishman, Irishman and a Scottsman working on a high rise building. They all stop for lunch. Englishman says if my wife makes me tuna and mayonise sandwiches again tomorrow Ill kill myself... Irishman says If my wife makes me ham and mustard sandwiches again tomorrow Ill kill myself. Scottsman says if my wife makes me Beef and mustard sandwiches tomorrow Ill bloody kill myself!
The next day 500 feet up on the steel they open the lunches. Englishman says if my wife makes me tuna and mayonise sandwiches again tomorrow Ill definately kill myself... Irishman says If my wife makes me ham and mustard sandwiches again tomorrow Ill definately kill myself. Scottsman says if my wife makes me Beef and mustard sandwiches tomorrow Ill bloody definately kill myself!
So the third day, The scottsman open his lunch and jumps off the steel. 500 feet and dies... The Irishman says "Well, thats fekking wierd..." "Why?" says the Englishman... The Irishman replied - "He makes his own..."
And another, Irishman, Englishman and a Scott walk into a bar... The bartender says "Get the f*** out!, were closed!"...