Speaking of HL alternatives:
Please join this Steam group
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/cliffsofdoveril2
Than click "enter chat" on the right hand side. Here you have a global chat where you can ask for help, recruit, etc.
This needs to be advertised first of cause by adding to forum signatures and making posts on other forums.
I believe you can join a game your friend is playing via the Steam group similar to HL.
HL is great imo but its success was based on original IL-2 MP limitations (no ingame browser at all). I do not know how to make it popular again because it makes life of server owners a bit more difficult (auto restart issues plus a long prefix in front of server name). If it becomes more user (server-owner) friendly maybe it can have more success. Once I sent HL instructions to Repka servers admin. He did not even reply as it is a bit too complicated for his busy schedule.