Is there a mod that makes the host recieve all ordered units? That would solve your problem.
The game assigns the units to the players who have the least units. I usually play as the support person and spend my time resupplying, building static defenses, ordering units and assigning them. Since the other players typically have more units than i do, the units all get assigned to me which allows me to allocate whole squads to needy players. It's not perfect, but it works.
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