Ah, that's a well articulated explanation and i don't disagree with what you say there. I wasn't referring directly to you in any case, just making an observation about a general trend in the forums when things get debated: too many people have an all or nothing approach lately, when it's better for everyone if we just have options to turn things on/off at our own discretion
As for the head shake, i too agree it's overdone in some cases. I've been a flak gunner during my conscript service (dual 20mm rheinmetals) and while the guns shake like hell when viewed from afar you don't really feel much when you're sitting on the aimer's seat because all the recoil is absorbed by the mount assembly and recoil spring.
But like you say, i wouldn't want it to completely disappear because it provides a way to transfer feedback to the player that is otherwise unavailable for many people. I think the consensus then would be that we don't need to get rid of head shake completely, but replace some of the shake used for gunfire effects with a milder vibration/blur effect?
I think the rest of it that occurs with maneuvers is sufficiently toned down after one of the patches, it doesn't feel like you're slamming your head against the canopy during maneuvers anymore, it just gives a visual indication about the amount of Gs being pulled.