ok so this debate about realism vs. playability... should actually be more on the lines of... a counter-strike type first person shooter (but in the sky), or a simulator.
trying to be as close to real life as u can get while sitting in your computer chair... the debate weather its redundant or quicker or useless doesn't matter, the fact of the matter is... super high manifold pressure killing ur engine in a few seconds is realistic, so it should happen... if u don't follow procedures and dont managing your engine properly you should be punished for it... if those kinds of things don't happen, it can't really be considered a simulation nowadays, can it?
so for all you "one button does all" dudes, sorry i couldn't find a flying game like that, but i found one thats "two buttons do all"
right here