Well, i can understand about the smoke, but i imagine that using the lights is not unreealistic as a signal option.
In fact, the P51 had 3 colored recognition lights under the starboard wing that could be used by the pilot to send morse code.
Sure, he wasn't sending actual morse code when he was evading attacks by a 190, but if he asked for wingmen to clear his tail and they couldn't spot him, he could press the morse button repeatedly to signal them.
The reason lights are problematic in IL2 is not because they are used in combat, but because they are too visible during daylight. Cheers