Ignore people who send you those messages. I'll state here right now - I'll leave a game without a second thought if real life requires attention. Everyone should do that - it's called responsibility.
I leave games all the time. I have a young child who has needs like any young child an sometimes those needs will interupt a game. I've gotten nasty messages because I joined a game but had to leave right as it started. I just delete them - first off they are morons by thinking they are accomplishing anything by sending silly rants, secondly - it makes me wonder if they are too focused on the game that they might neglect more important real life needs.
Plus, this issue is NOT your problem. The developers need to make it so you can join games already in progress. The current system makes multiplayer more of a chore than it should be.
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