Official Fulqrum Publishing forum

Official Fulqrum Publishing forum (http://forum.fulqrumpublishing.com/index.php)
-   Pilot's Lounge (http://forum.fulqrumpublishing.com/forumdisplay.php?f=205)
-   -   dont you think people is nicer in real life than in forums? (http://forum.fulqrumpublishing.com/showthread.php?t=30791)

raaaid 03-28-2012 10:54 PM

dont you think people is nicer in real life than in forums?
 
if i have to say the last person who was rude to me in real life i would have to go back like 20 years ago

and well in forums ehem

but in a way this makes forums much more authentic, honest and without disguise for fear of getting a punch

so plz call me wacko and i know you mean it, say this is an interesting though and i know you mean it

myself i admitted many times im much more honest telling what i think on forums than in real life

what about you?

Sternjaeger II 03-29-2012 10:42 AM

people appear to be nice in real life Raaaid, mainly cos they're afraid of the consequences of what they say or do, but behind a nickname and a screen our worst nature can indeed come out.

If we were forced to put our name and surname on the forum you'd be surprised on how much quieter and polite this place would be ;)

Truth is that some people use it as a form of relieving their frustrations or rage: racism and "small penis syndrome" are two typical forms of steaming off.

I think we have countless examples here of perfectly civilised conversations, often on "hot topics", going completely OT because of a few agitators, and some of them seem to find particular pleasure in doing it, as if their sad existence can't give them much else to enjoy themselves with.

Then of course there's Raaaid, who defies any logic and seems like he came out of an Isaac Asimov book ;)

Buchon 03-29-2012 11:17 AM

Internet have the property of show the persons at his complete shape, that's with his virtues/vicious courage/fears advantages/problems.

That is why internet is a excellent environment of cohesion.

In real life the person build walls to avoid problems and protect our fears and vicious to show only our virtues and courage with the goal of take advantages over others.

JG26_EZ 03-29-2012 12:29 PM

Agreed
Agreed
Agreed

Funny how the same can be said about alot of people when they hop in their cars and are "hidden" behind their windshields. They act very much the same.

It's complete cowardess if you ask me.

Why, just the other day i congratulated a person on their "Nice shot!"
They in turn, told me to go f@&$ myself.

fruitbat 03-29-2012 05:44 PM

disagree totally.

As far as i'm aware, correct me if i'm wrong, no one has ever been murdered, raped, or had any other type of violence enacted on them from reading a forum, all of which goes on in the real world on a daily basis, So no i don't think people are nicer in real life.

Oh, and when reading a forum, maybe some of you should remember an old nursery rhyme,

'sticks and stones will hurt my bones,
but words will never hurt me'

5./JG27.Farber 03-29-2012 06:02 PM

I am as honest on TS3, forums as I am in real life. This often leads me to come off worse for being honest. I admit to my mistakes instead of just lying my way out. I also make it known when someone is out of place, rude or just being a plain a hole. It always has negative consquences - even when I deliver it wih stylish sarcasim and or wit.

However at least I know my conscience is clear and I can sleep at night because I am not a caddish weasel. My Honour on my sleave. Having a background and up bringing South Yorkshire style helped allot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLYpKGVBUg

Politeness can often be a vale of ignorance.

EDIT: Im not been very clear. What Im trying to say is people often see me as rude because I speak my mind. Im not doing it just to be rude.

mazex 03-29-2012 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raaaid (Post 403774)
if i have to say the last person who was rude to me in real life i would have to go back like 20 years ago

and well in forums ehem

but in a way this makes forums much more authentic, honest and without disguise for fear of getting a punch

so plz call me wacko and i know you mean it, say this is an interesting though and i know you mean it

myself i admitted many times im much more honest telling what i think on forums than in real life

what about you?

Well, It's an interesting thought. When are we most acting in the way we really are? Or maybe the question is when are we least acting? Life is a role play where we always play some role in the social context we currently act in. At work as a manager I act in one way, with my kids in another way, with my childhood friends in another way and with my recent friends in one. When are we really not acting? It's all about the stage and how you have played your role on that stage before as that is the filter that your next move will be filtered through. If you raaaid would start a thread about physics here on this forum all the readers would filter what you said through all they remember about your previous threads and answer correspondingly, and probably answer it another way than if a person that posted here for the first time...

So, is the only time we get a "true" response the first time we enter a new "blank" stage? How often does that happen? And as newcomers to a new stage we are often treated in a suspicious way that is not "true" either... And when is the only time we act as the persons we really are? Certainly not the first time on a new stage :)

/mazex

ACE-OF-ACES 03-29-2012 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raaaid (Post 403774)
what about you?

I did experience this first hand.. About 10 to 15 years ago, when I was playing a lot of warbrids online..

There was a lot of 'online' smack talk than like you see here now..

Guys talking the big talk too.. about how they would kick your A if they ever got the chance to meet you in person type of talk.

That kind of talk always made me smile.. Because I always pictured some little kid at the keyboard typing that kind of stuff..

Turns out I was pretty close to the mark

How do I know?

Well warbrids had a convention out in palm springs that I was able to attend.. And I made a point of walking up to everyone and introducing myself.

And raaaid is right.. People are much nicer in person!!

Because everyone of those online smack talking fools had a very surprised look on their face when I told them who I was.. After which they spend the rest of the conversation apologizing for things they had said in the past and promising how it would not happen in the future

I never really understood exactly what it was that made them do the 180 (change of hart) in tone.. But if I had to guess it probably had to do with the fact that I am 6'4" at 230lbs.. ;)

mazex 03-29-2012 07:35 PM

And how many times at work when you have a phone conference about some sensitive matter does it happen people talk "harder" than on a face-to-face meeting? Every time... We use a lot of expensive video conferencing equipment to not waste time with project managers running into arguments with each other ;) Money well spent!

mazex 03-29-2012 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fruitbat (Post 403963)
'sticks and stones will hurt my bones,
but words will never hurt me'

I was on an evening event yesterday with the newly assigned Deputy Secretary General of the United Nations - Jan Eliasson, and he talked about that for most of his life he has been negotiating with very nasty persons like Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi, and that he many times thought about the Shakespear qoute "Words, words, words...". All of his career he has been working with words trying to get people with sticks to stop bashing each other. And like he said - it's amazing that most of the times it's the most effective way as that's where it all started. People don't start banging sticks at each others because something they did - it's because something they said - that the other side did not understand due to cultural differences...

=CfC= Father Ted 03-29-2012 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazex (Post 403993)
People don't start banging sticks at each others because something they did - it's because something they said - that the other side did not understand due to cultural differences...

That's quite a biggie in terms of forum meltdowns. Also, as someone else said, it's a similar mechanism to road rage. A small anecdote...

Many years ago I attended a football (that is, soccer) match being played by my home-town team. At that time in the UK there was a widespread problem with violence between rival football supporters and conventional wisdom was to keep them separately caged.

At this particular match, two guys had somehow got into the home stand whilst sporting away colours. I happened to be sat just behind them and there was some gentle banter going back and forth. What I could also hear, however, was a stream of vitriol from home supporters who were sat far enough away that they could not get into direct conflict with these two mad/brave guys.

We see this same behaviour in cars and on the internet.

Another major factor IMHO is the delay between posting and response. Perceived slights have time to fester, whilst in face-to-face conversation you can be much more nimble and nip misunderstandings in the bud. Plus there's the honour thing - this happened to me the other day. Someone posted something on a forum about me and I wanted to defend my honour in front of the community.

It's a good point though Raaaaid.

Flanker35M 03-30-2012 06:04 AM

S!

Well..in interenet you are a faceless meme IF the others do not know your Facbook or Twitter or whatever profile. Easy to throw mud and smack talk as the risk of meeting the person is small. But on the flipside if you are a turd in internet many can form a totally different picture of you and this can affect RL too. Therefore IMO everyone should stop and think before acting like a raving lunatic from the "safe haven of the armchair". Once it is in the net it will not dissappear. Think of that.

I would rather see many of these forum members in RL to have a real discussion. I am sure it would be a much more interesting and educating process than these forum wars. Therefore whenever I am on ATAG TS3 I do not act or be any different than IRL. And I like to chat with new people.

AoA, I can imagine some of your smack talkers made a Split-S when saw you coming..I recall you were not exactly a short person ;) This same smack talk is in Aces High and EVE Online or World Of Tanks..so times change but manners not :)

mazex 03-30-2012 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flanker35M (Post 404048)
S!

Well..in interenet you are a faceless meme IF the others do not know your Facbook or Twitter or whatever profile. Easy to throw mud and smack talk as the risk of meeting the person is small. But on the flipside if you are a turd in internet many can form a totally different picture of you and this can affect RL too. Therefore IMO everyone should stop and think before acting like a raving lunatic from the "safe haven of the armchair". Once it is in the net it will not dissappear. Think of that.

Exactly, and then there is the interesting fact that people often use the same nicks in many forums, naturally on flight sim forums but it's not that uncommon to recognize nicks on other forums too... So over the years you will get a track where all those posts you did that you actually regretted an hour after posting them will live for many years. In real life it's just the really stupid comments that people will remember for years ;)

So if your real name gets out you have to be able to stand up for all your comments. Myself I think I can stand up for most that mazex has posted over the years, but if some customer saw how many useless threads I have participated and spent time in here for example I don't know if their image of me as an effective professional spending time on relevant stuff and not floating out in nonsense would get strengthened ;) For many of us I guess this is a vent for some nonsense talk about a dear subject... The problem is that it's too often the same discussions ocer and over again :) Regarding many questions here we already know what 50% of the nick alter egos will answer but we keep going on ;)

Myself I have 45 minutes of train time on my way to work, so many of my posts are just for spending the time... :) Tapatalk rules!

/mazex

raaaid 03-30-2012 02:57 PM

totally ot i am listening to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqG6l...tes&playnext=1

and i wonder why i hear angel land

avalon anyone, applelon

swiss 03-30-2012 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raaaid (Post 403774)
what about you?

Don't worry, I'm the same prick in real life as in here. :)

raaaid 03-30-2012 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swiss (Post 404280)
Don't worry, I'm the same prick in real life as in here. :)

oh i like you i just think you watch house too much :)

Richie 03-31-2012 12:14 AM

I think all of us can hide behind these names. Mine in here is my own and IIJG27_Rich in the Hyperlobby but still who would know that. No one knows where you live, they can't come pounding on your door if you've hurt their feelings. I look at videos on youtube sometimes and am pretty shocked at the replies from people. If you fly a German areroplane or put anything up about Hans Joachim-Marseille or any other German pilot you're going to get crap from people who have no idea what they're talking about so I took what was a great documentary down. People put up videos of family trips probably to show friends and they get slammed by idiots.."Take this sh*t down" etc. I'm sure he or she is either a kid or the person want's to get into a discussion with the others on what good taste they have so they don't hate themselves so much that particular day. Like Mr. Finch said in "To Kill A Mockingbird" "Put yourself in the other persons shoes and walk around in them"... before you write something down.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:46 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2007 Fulqrum Publishing. All rights reserved.